Dear Stomach,

If this letter made it through the esophagus, that means i havn't choked to death, and for that i am very happy. I'm writing in regards to the the deluxe bacon, lettuce and tomato sandwich that I just ate about 20 minutes ago. I believe my last quarter may have been in there, and i really need it to use the payphone, see i'm stranded at the restaurant, and i really need a ride home, and the bastards (probably Italian) wont let me use their phone, so i have to use the payphone, but i have no money left.

I'm hoping this letter has reached you before you have passed my quarter on to the small intestine, cause i heard that guy is a jackass and wont give anything back. Well, I would appreciate you finding away to get my quarter back up to me. Thank You

Love, Greg